So, the long awaited day has come! I am lying here listening to the soft cooing of my newest arrival – no, you didn’t miss the announcement – my home peritoneal dialysis machine came today. With its arrival come feelings of excitement, relief, anxiety and inadequacy. But more about that later….
|Liberty Peritoneal Dialysis (PD) Machine|
All in all I experienced 11 HemoDialysis treatments – plenty by my standards, but minuscule in comparison to most of the In-Center Hemo Patients.
In the three weeks of Hemo, I developed an appreciation for patients – no , scratch that – PEOPLE who undergo in-center dialysis. Before, experiencing it for myself, I had written it off as a treatment for ‘really sick people’ and distasteful – I had even made such bold declarations to myself that ‘I will never do that’. Oh My-Lanta! Did I just admit to being wrong? J
I’m sure that were my fellow Hemo compatriots to read this they would further set me right, but allow me to impart the wisdom of my 11 treatments….
* Pouting is pointless – Yeah, I know it’s a stretch to think of me as pouting (I am confident it has had no bearing on the enormity of my lips). I really wrestled with being placed on dialysis. All along I’ve accepted what has come my way, knowing that God had purpose in it all. Well, what the hammertoe was the reason for dialysis? I lost a lot of time getting to know those around me…
* Someone always has it worse than me – I don’t revel in this, but its true… Each chair at dialysis held a person, each person had a story and life and dreams and ambitions. Some eagerly await transplants, having been on the list 1 year, 2 years… some embrace dialysis as their treatment of choice and others consider discontinuing treatment. In spite of all that, the center’s employees and patrons put on a celebration that would knock your socks off. A boisterous Santa, his spunky elf and reindeer, even an angel (bet you can’t guess who that was)… It was a reminder to me that life is what you make it!
I learned a lot more, but overall, the experience really was positive and I’ve made some friends in the process J Tonight I’m thinking how appealing in-center dialysis is…. I welcomed my home PD machine today – Liberty – I’m hoping she lives up to her name, allowing me more freedom to work and allow me to feel good -- - But right now I’m wishing I’d spiked the bags with Prozac – My nerves are a little jumping with all the possible complications and responsibility. Home dialysis is not for the faint of heart! But, like all the other obstacles, I am trusting God to see me through. Again, Im reminded that even though I bear a large part of the responsibility, my God is ultimately in control. Oh, I am so glad for that – so thankful that when I am weary, scared and lonely – Christ is here and He will see me through. Isaiah 40:30-31 Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.
I appreciate your prayers and would just continue to ask for them – please pray for precision in my technique, wisdom and peace of mind and that God’s will to be done and that He will be glorified through me and in this time!
Below: Hemo Machine filtering my blood for 3 1/2 hours.