When I last left you, I was lamenting my drowned cat persona -- It's taken time, tears & lots of prayer, but I feel like I've begun to regroup -- I know I'm a little slow (don't you dare shake your head in agreement!!!) God has been using this experience to teach me some painful & profound lessons.
* When invited to a pity-party -- "you poor thing", "that's sooooo not fair" & "would you like fries with that?" are always welcome -- practical facts & platitudes are not! Oh, well that might not really be a profound lesson, but good etiquette is so important!
* Molding -- nope, I'm not talking about the science experiment in my fridge, but rather the task of being molded. The Bible describes us as "Jars of Clay", but I was thinking about all the times I've worked with greenware and clay. Unmolded clay is cold and hard and stubborn. It's only haver it's been "thrown" and molded that it begins to take on shape and usefulness. The same is true with Greenware -- it's super fragile and ugly, with rough edges -- it takes careful effort to sand away the rough edges & the piece is only strong because of an intense firing. -- Hmm, 'thrown', 'firing' -- the words aren't gentle, they imply effort, brokeness -- My prayer through this journey has been for God to use me as a vessel, to share His love and light with those around me -- It wasn't a glib prayer, but in the last weeks I have doubted the sanity of that prayer. I am that clay, that greenware -- the experiences I am facing, they aren't what I would ask for, but now, I think I can say with complete honesty -- if they are so that I might be molded to the person God desires me to be -- than it is worth it & to God be the glory for using a weak vessel as myself1!! As a side note -- I recently watched Letters to God -- touched very close to home & I am greatly desirous to be that warrior of God's choosing, however, if post transplant my eyebrows get that bushy, please share your tweezers :) LOL
* Finally, a friend got me to thinking about the passage in Acts 3 verses 1-10 (for complete passage see below), a lame beggar sits at his pree-mo beggin' spot. His routine is to beg for his lively-hood near the temple. While sitting there, he hits up Peter & John for some moo-lah. Practical, right? Just another day at the office.... But Peter looks at him and instead of money, he bids him to get up and walk, and then takes his hand to help him up. I was trying to think what I would have thought about that turn of events. The biblical accounts records that the man was elated, jumping, praising GOd, but on some level, after the inital excitement wore off -- you think he mighta wished Peter had slipped him a ten-spot? Walking's great, but 10 sec. earlier he had a cushy desk, er mat job & now he's going to have some work involved.... Leave it to the Lord to see the bigger picture... the lame man, just wanted what he saw as the best he could do, God, through Peter saw an opportunity to give the man the ability to earn for himself. God has been teaching me how very nearsighted I am in my thinking and desires and is helping to retrain me to a more eternal way of thinking. Even though it requires work, God's knowledge of the bigger picture really makes Him the better choice for who I'll let rule/lead my life & who I put my trust in -- it's work, but He's right there holding out His hand to help me along the way -- THank the Lord!!!
One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. 2 Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. 3 When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. 4 Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” 5 So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.
6 Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” 7 Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. 8 He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. 9 When all the people saw him walking and praising God, 10 they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.
