What's in a name?

What’s in a word?  Well, Shakespeare believed that the glorious perfume of a rose would be greatly diminished were it a…. skunkcabbage, boogerjowl or ninneygobbler.  I don’t know—does the signifigance truly lie in the word or our frame of reference?

In the life of a transplant patient (i..e. my life)  there are few words that strike a more powerful emotion as to make your heart drop to your heiny and your stomach lodge in your throat.  Rejection… yep, the ‘R’ word.  For over ten years I’ve been conditioned to dread and fear this possibility.  Now maybe if it were called fuzzychocolatebunnies or camero, hmm… no matter the name, the definition remains the same.

After last weeks Dr’s appt. I’ve been rolling another less-than-stellar word around my head – Dialysis.  I am blessed to have this treatment as a medical option – and while I am thankful for the option, I am not eager to undertake the challenge.  Because I am an adult, I get the task of making the grown-up decision about when and if to start dialysis and what type to pursue. 

So here’s what I think about Mr. Shakespeare theory – what’s in a name?   Forget the name and tackle the issue – yeah, maybe if I’d been conditioned to run when I wanted food I’d be a size 2 and miserable LOL, but God has given us the remarkable gift of experiences and free will.  So even though I have known anxiety, I also know God the Father.  He has a few other names too --  comforter, healer, great physician….. and He can fill my frame of reference with His peace that surpasses all understanding!  (Phil. 4:6-7)

A Call To Action

It's late and I know tomorrow I'll wish I had been more prudent, but the thoughts in my are louder than my fatigue right now.  Since my last post I've learned a good many life lessons.
* One - Statistics hold far more significance when they deal with life
* Two - Verbs are action-words -- Thus, these words should elicit ACTION...

I feel a little sheepish putting my thoughts to cyber-page.  After last week lauding the concept of waiting.  Yes, I believed it clever to relate my "waiting woes" in a watery-analogy.  Boy, howdy, am I glad that God loves us where we are, because sometimes I can be waist-high in stupidity!
What spurred this revelation? - -- one phone call....
     Friday afternoon I received the call that I was to be 'on alert' -- a kidney was available and I and another girl each had a 50% chance of being the recipient.  50/50 -- People bet on far less odds...
I'd like to say my first thought was excitement and gratitude -- it wasn't -- Actually, those thoughts didn't even register top three.  First thought -- ' I sure hope I have clean underwear',  and secondly, ' I really wish I'd cleaned my house'.... The next few hours I waited for a call that did not come.  But what did come was an amazing lesson.
Wait -- is a verb, but I've been treating it as a noun.  Just acting as a passive bystander casued me to be caught off-guard.  It got me to thinking how I need to be prepared mentally and physically -- to the best degree I know how.  So, yes, I do have a bag packed -- my undies are clean, my house is, hmm, getting cleaner (Rome wasn't built in a day, you know) -- but above all else, I'm working on my relationship with Christ -- taking time to worship Him while I'm waiting, Praise Him while I'm waiting.  So in His timing I can be the woman He desires me to be!
*on a side note -- I would ask that you pray for me as I actively wait for God's timing for a kidney and also for continued health and strength as I begin a new chapter in my professional life....  Thanks --V

Sink or Swim? Being Still or Still Waiting...

My keyboard’s keys have been quiet for a long time – what’s that you say?  Blessed respite?  Peaceful silence?  LOL… Well, in the words of my dear sister, I have been an “unfaithful tomato”….

This post is an update to those interested, but mostly it stands as a road-marker on my most current life’s journey.  

Since my most recent post I can tell you that….I know absolutely nothing more… *sigh*, not so exciting is it?  Now, I know that sounds cynical and self-defeating, and maybe that’s how I’ve felt during the first 28 days without news, but as each day passes I’m learning something….   P..a..t..i..e..n..c..e… Yes, for some it’s patience, but for me it really is P….a….t…  OK, you get the picture.  I’m the one who’s a little thick-skulled, not you ;)  

I’ve proclaimed a lot of ‘bits of wisdom’ and lessons God has brought to light in this journey, but perhaps the loudest, most persistent, and dare I say it, most positively aggravating, has been  WAIT.

I detest ‘anti-climax’ – the thrill of any thing worth-while (movie, skit, music, etc…)  is the crescendo leading to the pinnacle of all the work’s focus and then the big TADA! 

My ‘TADA’ went taSP-LAAT – My big crescendo landed a belly-buster!  

At the beginning of this journey I had expectations, of myself, of my doctors, my family/friends…. And of my God.  Eight months later, all my expectations have been blown outta-the-water. 

So,  to sum it all up…. I am waiting…  I don’t know for how long, but I am learning that waiting is work, it’s not my wish to wait, but it is my desire to be the person God wants me to become – and right now, that molding is coming from my learning to practice trust.  It’s like swimming (or my brand of buoyancy) The more I fight it, the faster I sink, but when I lie back and look up, I’m able to keep my head above water. J