Have you ever heard it – that resounding echo of a slamming
door that sends tremors through your teeth?
Within that sound lays a harsh finality.
Yesterday’s phone call and subsequent message sent reverberations of a
slamming door within my consciousness as real as if the had been slammed in my
face.
Monday dawned bright and clear on the heels of a refreshing
weekend. While most people dread
Mondays, I see them as a wondrous possibility – a blank canvas, unmarred and
full of possibilities. It was on this
day I had promised myself that I would begin the laborious task of finding a
new transplant center. I have relied on
God’s guidance for many of life’s most pressing issues. Where to go to school, what job to take,
where to move… Still I have a lot to
learn about seeking God’s will and guidance in my life. So often, I wish that God would take up
sky-writing or better yet text me the right answer. I’ve been dragging my feet to some degree in
the hopes that the transplant center ‘debacle’ would resolve itself and no new
center would need to be found, that or God would give me an audible direction –
‘go forth to…’ Well, from what I can
tell the skies were clear of any pertinent messages, though I thought I saw a
bunny riding a bicycle. I continue to
stay safely within my texting limit and no heavenly audible prompts have
spurred my decisions. But did you know
that God can use obstacles as answers?
And in the echo of a slamming door can be the whisper of clarity.
Yesterday’s call was to inform me that the suspension of the
transplant program will now be indefinite.
With recent events both transplant surgeons have decided to leave the
program, one choosing retirement and the other finding employment
elsewhere. My heart is saddened at these
events. Having spent my adulthood under
the care of these physicians, not to mention countless surgeries/procedures – I
have developed a trust and care and mutual respect for them – I am sorry this
is the way they had to end their time there.
But with this news comes the distinct clarity that going elsewhere is
necessary. So with new direction I have
begun the process of getting referrals to two other dialysis centers. As of late I have taken to reminding myself
that none of the recent events have surprised my God, nor does He worry about
what to do next or where I should go—He doesn’t worry about any of the myriad
list of things I begin to become bogged down by when I take my eyes off of God
and try to choreograph the events of my life.
How much better when I let the master director who knows the entire plot
of my life story take the lead.
Again I am learning a lesson of patience. Oh, I know, I’m sure that I bragged of my
mastery of this some time ago in a blog far away, but again, God is reminding
me that His timing is never early, nor is it ever late, and rarely is it at the
time I would have it, but it is always perfect and always on time! You might pray for my continued patience,
that I wouldn’t become harried or rushed or anxious in the coming weeks or
months of this process of getting established with a new center. I am struggling against an urgency to get the
process done so I can participate in a paired organ exchange, but again, God’s
timing – I desire to be in His will and in His perfect time.
God bless
~V
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope,
patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans
I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
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