I’ve drafted this blog so many times I’ve lost count. I’ve rolled it around in my mind over and
over, but each time I put it to paper, the white spaces mock me. I even thought to elicit the guidance of my
trusty copy of ‘How To Say It’, but I’m fairly certain that nowhere among its
contents lie the answers I am looking for.
Two challenges keep echoing through my thoughts, both issued by loving
friends. The first, be more direct. The second, embrace the person God’s created
me to be.
The first challenge was born of a conversation I had with a
bestie. We were discussing my dating
life (or lack there-of) and the intricacies of non-verbal communication. She
declared that I needed to be more direct with people about my optical challenges
so that others would know to be more verbal in my presence. It was during this conversation that her
grandma chimed in with her two-cents, ‘Just wink at the guys’, she said –
citing that that was her method of ensnaring the heart of her beloved so many
years before. Winking, hmm, could it be
as easy as that? I did step on the toes
of a guy that held the door for me at Applebees – I wonder if that could count
as being more direct? Oh, why can’t body language come with subtext?
This same friend confronted me about my directness in
relation to my search for a kidney. It was in mentioning this to my Dad, that
he issued my second challenge – Don’t shrink from the person God has made you
to be, embrace it. I lamely argued that
God made me passive and un-eager to ask for help – he didn’t buy it….
So…. This is me being more direct – I need a kidney
transplant. I am really blessed to be able to maintain reasonable health with
dialysis and I have more good days, than bad ones. But, the facts remain the same – dialysis is
only a short-term solution, a 63 hour/week means of life-support. At the end
of the day I still need a transplant.
Putting this to paper, I have this sense of earnest and
excitement to see what God has in store for me.
I haven’t been overly direct in my prayers as of late. Despite what you
might think, I don’t pray for a kidney.
My greatest desire is healing – it would be so much less…. Inconvenient
for myself and everyone involved. I
trust that one day I will be healed, whether God chooses for that to be here or
in heaven I eagerly await that day, but for right now, that’s not part of God’s
perfect plan for my life. So my newest
prayer if for God’s will (and that I will be accepting of it). If that’s a kidney, great, if it isn’t, that’s
okay too. I’m reminded of a message I
recently heard, it was in response to the movie theatre massacre. The trials of life can act as catalysts to
draw us closer to the Lord. A willing
spirit in the midst of turmoil can be as malleable as precious metal under
fire. God can use these experiences to mold us into the person we are meant to
be. Living through fiery trials isn’t
fun, but if we allow God to shape us, we’ll emerge beautifully refined, rather
than scorched!
·
1 Peter 4:12 – Beloved, do not think it is
strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange
thing happened to you, but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s
sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with
exceeding joy.
·
1 Peter 1:6,7 - In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a
little while, I fneed be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the
genuiness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes,
though it is tested by fire may be found to praise, honor and glory at the
revelation of Jesus Christ.
·
James 1:2,3 – Count it all joy when you fall
into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.
That’s the best I can do at being direct. If you have interest in being a kidney donor
or you just would like more info about the process you can contact me via blog
comments or email : joyful.ness@live.com For those of you who’ve been tested in the
past, but were not a match, but would be interested in more info about
paired-donor exchange (kidney chains), I can also get you more info.
What did I tell you.... there really is no 'Asking for Organs' chapter in my 'How to Say It' book, look for that in the re-vised edition (I'm sure).
Oh and if you know of any eligible guys….. I think I would
be really good at blind dates ;)
~As always, V
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