Keeping my High Maintenancity on the Down Low

High Maintenance.

For the life of me I can’t think of a time when the term ‘high maintenance’ was used as a glowing recommendation.  I’d never leap at a chance to buy a house with that moniker (ranch-style money pit, high maintenance time-sucker with 2 br and 1 bath hardly screams –‘buy me’); Nor would I be overly eager to answer an e-harmony post that read ‘ tall, dark and high maintenance’.  Perhaps I’ve an unfair bias to the term, but I tend to distance myself from all things hinting of high maintenance.

So you can imagine my horror, when today while visiting the transplant center I found out that I am viewed by others as *GASP**** H-i-g-h maintenance – well scratch my ears and call me Sparky!  I can’t even begin to tell you what a shock this was….. okay, so, not so shocking. I mean, I do live with myself.  No news flash, but today I saw myself through others’ eyes – highlighting the high maitenancity of Me.

Its concerning to me to think that others, like myself, might be walking around, unaware that they too are high maintenance.  I’ve put together a list of signs and symptoms to look for – they say admittance is the first step……

·        When traveling, a U-Haul trailer is necessary to carry your ‘over-night’ case

·        To avoid such overnight ventures, you rise at 3 AM to arrive on time to an 8 AM appointment.

·        Health questionnaires and doctor interviews resemble open-book tests because you have to refer to your ‘notes’. 

·        Finding an unscarred space on your abdomen (to place a new incision) is termed by the doctors ‘lucky’.

·        Being termed ‘complicated’ multiple times in doctor’s dictation.

·        And finally, and perhaps my favorite way to tell if you’re high maintenance …. When another physician remarks that if they were a primary care doc and saw me come in the front door, they’d walk out the back.

·        Oh, and I suppose if you wanna split hairs -- needing a kidney might fall into the high-maintenance category…..

So, yeah, I admit it, I am a high maintenance kinda gal, but lets keep that between you and me.  If word got out I might have to start meeting my doctors at the emergency exits.