Thursday, May 30, 2013

Button Holes & Blessings

I’m getting button holes! 

I can only imagine the troubling thoughts my exclamation is causing for anyone reading this - some of you may even be wondering how low my social life has sunk to elicit such enthusiasm over garment slits.

I’m getting button holes – any yes I’m excited – but fear not – my sanity and social life are still intact.

Button holes are a slang term for a fistula site that is always accessed in the same spot. But I’m getting ahead of myself – so for now, just know – button holes are good.

Since my last post life has been eventful – Here’s the condensed version with journaling snippets of most momentous events:

·        March 29th – First day having my fistula stuck with one 17 gauge needle.                                        My anxiety over this event was actually pretty anti-climactic – I attribute this to three things; my overactive imagination, the nurse’s skill; and God’s grace. It’s a good thing too, because if day one had been anything like day two I may have never gone back! 

·        April 17th – First day with 2 needles accessing my fistula.                                                                        Actually this was the first day successfully accessing my fistula with the second needle.

·        April 22nd – Diagnosed with Shingles.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Fortunately I caught it early, so it turned out to be a mild case, but a week later I was back in the doctor’s office with hives caused by a new fabric softener.

·        April 26th – Fistula Infiltrated.


Bruising 2 wks after infiltration.
Words can’t fully express… OUCH comes to mind– I hope to avoid a repeat performance – Infiltration occurs when the needle responsible for blood return slips out of the arterial portion of the fistula and the blood has nowhere else to go but into the surrounding tissue.  It’s extremely painful and results in a doozy of a bruise.

·        May 6th – Fistulagram with Angioplasty.

My fistula’s infiltration was a red flag there could be some structural abnormalities with my fistula, so I had a fistulagram done.  They injected my fistula with dye & discovered 3 - 70% blockages.  They ballooned these areas to allow for greater blood flow.

 ·        May 10th – Phone call from transplant center…

I got butterflies in my stomach when I saw the name on my Caller ID.  My heart was in my throat as I answered.  But instead of ‘the call’, it was the financial coordinator calling to tell me that my new COBRA insurer considered their transplant center out-of-network.  As my heart plummeted to my buns he explained that my current insurance policy would cover little to no part of a transplant.  In a nutshell – No coverage, no kidney.

Another barrier in my quest for a kidney, oh, and did I mention – just a week earlier I and a living donor had been tested for paired donor exchange? 

If you’ve followed my blog, you know this isn’t the first time things haven’t gone as I thought they should – My initial go-to reactions have been panic, tantrums and anger (sometimes all three – I’m a real treat, huh?) – but over the last three years God has used these experiences to mold me and teach me lessons about patience (careful what you ask for), purpose & God’s perfect timing.  So if anything, the last three years has been preparing me for this news.  Instead of reaching for my ‘go-to’ hysterics I felt oddly calm – I’m still working on a solution, but in the meantime I’m choosing to rely on what I believe, or rather in whom I believe – My God wasn’t surprised by this news or any other news that I saw as roadblocks. I believe that Christ has a perfect plan for my life and if a kidney is part of that plan, it will happen at the right time.  So in the meantime I am doing my part to iron out the man-made wrinkles.

·        May 24th – First day using 15 gauge needles, button holes begin.

Each time I thought of needles this size I envisioned knitting needles – My imagination was far more disturbing than the real thing, thank the Lord!  I’d like to tell you I faced those harpoons with bravery… I would also like a pony…. My help comes from the Lord, but right now my courage is chemically-induced – Lidocaine cream is this girl’s new best friend!

And that brings me back to the present – BUTTON HOLES!  It signifies that my fistula is working well and when the holes are well-established a tract will form, similar to an ear piercing. It makes it easier to access and less painful.  Having button holes also means I can get my IJ catheter out soon – no more IJ means less risk for infection and I can take real showers and go swimming – all the incentives which make a fistula more appealing.

The last few months I’ve had the opportunity to put some of the lessons God has been teaching me into practice. I continue to get new opportunities to trust God & wait for His perfect timing.  In grasping opportunities, I’ve also opened myself up to unimaginable blessings!

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