Don't Poke the Guinea Pig!

Tuesday my family, my potential donor and myself met for a family meeting with my transplant center staff and doctors.  I was the topic of conversation.

It’s a little bizarre to know clinical facts, statistics and science… it’s a whole ‘nuther ball of wax to live it.  The doctor stood at the white board with his invisible marker (or maybe I was supposed to wear 3-D glasses – all I know is he was writing, but I couldn’t see it – Maybe all their budget goes into transplant supplies…).  He furiously sketched out my statistics.

               At my current PRA (antibody measurement) of 88% (best is 0, worst is 100), my statistical chance of getting a kidney is 5%/year – estimated 10 year wait on the deceased donor list.  By joining the paired-donor exchange list it increases my odds of getting a kidney by about 2-3%/year – estimated 7-8 year wait for a kidney.

He was really honest and clear – It was all things I knew, but I appreciated his tendency to not beat around the bush…  After discussing my current transplant options and the life expectancy of dialysis (some people can live up to 25 years, but the average life span on dialysis is 5 years).  The Doctor presented me with a 4^th option – participating in a drug trial.

This 4^th option is offered to a limited population of highly sensitized patients and comes with a lot of risks and potential benefits.

It’s a lot to think about, I’m still working on the stack of information they sent me home with -- Yesterday’s reading included the full-page, single-spaced risks, side effects, warnings and legal disclaimers sheet.  It’s enough to get my inner guinea pig dancing – if I had a tail it would be wagging, no, wait, that’s just one of the side effects…     Have you ever watched a drug commercials, wondering what would possess a person to take a medication when the list of potential side effects sound more alarming than the initial problem? It’s a balancing act between treating the original problem and dealing with the subsequent problems that arise as a result of the treatment.  As I was reading the list of potential problems I started playing the risks assessment game – is that a side effect I have now, have I had it before or am I willing to deal with it in the future.. Imagine my delight when I found a side effect/risk I know for certain I won’t have to worry about – So glad to be a girl today!

We all make decisions that have a lasting impact on our lives – this is mine. 

There’s a lot to consider – I’m praying that the Lord will guide my steps and that fear or doubt wouldn’t cloud my mind as I seek to follow the path Christ has set before me.  My prayer throughout this long journey has evolved from – ‘A kidney’s what I want, make that your will’ to (most of the time) ‘ Lord, let me desire to be within your will and use my life for Your greater purpose’.  In my quiet time this week I felt such an urgency to make the 'right decision' -- I was blessed when I came upon this verse during my quiet time - James 1:2-5 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.