At present, I’m laying here sucking Jello from its
pre-packaged cup. Why, you ask am I still single? Two reasons:
1. I’m
nowhere near a spoon
2. I’m off solids in preparation for a procedure
tomorrow – which ‘obviously’ explains both, my snack choice and my lack of decorum
(obviously I’m far too weak to trek down the hall in search of a spoon).
But honestly, I’m hungry, bordering on hangry and just
minutes from whine-gry (this may be a Vanessa-original - a word combo based on
hunger induced whininess – which in all fairness could also be referred to as
Hiney, but really folks – I’m so much more tasteful than that). ;P Is Jello the
snack that smiles back? Because I think I saw it chortle when I passed the real
food to suck down its slimy contents like a greased pig on a waterslide. Ooh
bacon!;)
I’ve been asked by several friends and family how I’m doing
lately and I’ve been rather lax about blogging or correspondence. Maybe today’s
not the best day to ask me, as the neighbors begin to launch noise complaints due
to my stomach rumbling and my cat thinks my stomach’s growling is a personal
affront.
But seriously, I’m good,
I’m tired and I’m good and tired. And beyond that I’m incredibly
blessed! I’m trying to remind myself to savor each moment, take every
opportunity to be purposeful and be a good sport as I fund a handful of
specialists’ summer vacations. ;D
This week I’m inundated with doctor visits, tests and
procedures every day except Friday, but in the two weeks prior I’ve been overwhelmed
(in the best sense of the word) with the blessing of savoring moments and the
people that made them memorable. I’m unable to forget my PTLD diagnosis with my
perennial visits to medical professionals, but without those perpetual
reminders I’d be apt to forget. Not today – but most days. Pardon me if this
sounds ridiculous, but I’m glad for the reminder. I’m glad because it keeps me
mindful that life is precious –it’s a gift from God and it’s meant to be lived
actively – not passively. I want to live in the fullness of the purpose God has
for my life – quirks and all. And, if
I’m honest, it’s easy to get lazy and let life pass me by.
God continues to remind me of His faithful character. In
fact, today it felt as though He provided extra measures to reinforce the hope
I have in Him through my morning devotions and in the song selections coming
from the car radio (check out ‘Still’ by Hillary Scott).
‘Let
us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.’
Hebrews 10:23
I love how God paints word pictures – He evokes tangible
emotion through our senses and provides ample opportunities for us to be
assured of His faithfulness. Just look at His creation – the critters roaming
this world, the watercolor daybreaks and the dark velvet expanse of night sky
shimmering with stars. As a child I listened to my ‘Creek Bank Kids’ cassette
tape (yes I am that old) enough that
I still catch myself humming snippets of songs. Today these lyrics came to
mind.
This
world is like a coloring book His beauty’s everywhere I look
Every color that I see reminds me of His love for me God
paints the world with love, that’s how I know He lives
He fills the earth with colors and in that way He gives
Such happiness oh how we’re blessed to have this picture of
A wonderful God Who cares so
much that He paints the world with love
Tangible reminders make me smile. I was six when my grandpa
died, but despite so many years removed from his company, I’m only one banana
shake away from the most vibrant memories of him and his homemade ice cream.
Maybe that’s why God chose to represent His faithfulness in the form of a
rainbow. Genesis 9:13-15 says:
‘I
have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant
between me and the earth. 14 Whenever I bring clouds over
the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant
between me and you.’
Isn’t it poignant that our Heavenly Father chose to paint
with a generous color palette to reflect His promise? Beauty and hope on the
heels of storm clouds and despair.
Tomorrow I’ll have more biopsies to determine the
effectiveness my medication changes have had. To see if my immune system has
found a toe-hold to fight the lymphoma cells. I’m preparing for that in two
ways: One - the aforementioned diet (spoons optional, no chewing necessary) and
two - reminding myself of God’s promise
of faithfulness.
Aww… that sounds so pious doesn’t it? Serene even. Well, not
today.
 |
Forgive the limited view of candy cotton color -
I suffer from selfie-insufficiency
|
Today I chose to boldly go where I've never gone before and
I broadened my hair color horizons; taking my cue from God’s plentiful color
palette with a pop of color that even I can see! And I love it (perhaps because I'm hungry, but the shades of purple and magenta make me think of cotton candy)! Two weeks ago I
anticipated having no hair. Maybe that’s still in my future, Lord willing,
maybe it’s not. But regardless, I’m celebrating God’s faithfulness in a little
less orthodox, far more flamboyant fashion.
Now, when storm clouds roll in I need only look in the
mirror to remember my God is faithful, my God is good – and that truth doesn’t
change - no matter the weather!
‘Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s
great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are
new every morning; great is your faithfulness.’ Lamentations 3:21-23
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