This fall, following a routine transplant check-up I got a call from my specialist. Knowing how busy they keep, I’ve come to understand that a personal call from my Doc is less flattering and more concerning. I was right to be suspect, as he shared that one of my blood levels, the one that keys them in to donor DNA hyper-activity and transplant rejection risk, was 3 times the normal limit. Yep, I’m an overachiever!
Because this test is so new and my results didn’t really jive with all my other levels, the specialists had deemed it necessary for me to have a two-day round of immunotherapy. Think whack-a-mole; where the donor DNA is the pesky mole & the IVIG (medication) is the mallet.
It’s wasn’t my first rodeo (i.e. round of treatment), but what was different was the peace that came over me even as I played the what-ifs game - contemplating the prospect of rejection and other outcomes… The other difference was this tremendous book I came across the day before my first treatment #NothingWasted, by @kaseyvannorman .
I was familiar with Kasey’s first book & Bible study #NamedByGod and as I happened (yeah, right, totally a God thing) upon a post about Kasey’s newest book #NothingWasted the subtitle jumped out at me ‘God Uses the Stuff You Wouldn’t’. Now this was a book I had to read! Because, well, if you know my history at all (and even if you don’t) you know that I’ve had quite the journey of dark valleys, health hiccups and an amazing array of God’s grace, peace and ever-present care throughout! I wouldn’t have asked for, demand a repeat performance or wished on anyone the trials I’ve faced, and yet, I’m forever grateful for how God has used such yuck as misdiagnoses, vision & transplant loss,, eight cumulative years of dialysis, and lymphoma to shape my character and remind me of His!
This book couldn’t have come at a better time, and though with my low vision its been slow and tedious, #NothingWasted is none of those things!
From the moment I began reading Kasey drew me in with her
, raw candor & vulnerability! As she unpacks her own past ‘yuck’ within the book’s pages I wept – for her, for me – because she doesn’t keep you there amongst the ashes of her past, but continually brings out the truth of Who God is and where He was in the midst of her trials and how He is using it all – the brutalities thrust upon her, the generational hurts she harbored, poor judgments – all of it to shape her, to teach her and for her good and God’s glory! It’s a stirring testament of the beauty God can create out of the ashes of our past!
One of the lines that I keep coming back to from Kasey’s book:
‘God rightly knows what we so often questions, His process is the point.’
She goes on,
‘.For us to fully believe who we are in God, right here in this moment, based not on what he does but instead on who he is, life on our terms must come crashing to the ground.’
Wow! My highlighter is getting a major work-out as I read through this treasure trove of truths! Kasey is a masterful story teller – raw, riveting, relatable, brave and smart! She unpacks her own personal journey so vividly – the good, the bad & the ugly – no holds barred; all for the benefit of those of us looking on, to helps us understand how God has shaped her life and left nothing within her journey void of purpose. Love, love, love this! And if that’s true for her… What hope she brings readers as she shifts the focus from her story to remind us of God’s character and the grace, love, guidance and PURPOSE He has for our own personal story! That’s a big one for me – I never have doubted God’s love or grace, but living life adrift of purpose while you watch life race so far off course from your plans or dreams feels hopeless.
So often it felt as though Kasey was speaking directly to me (I totally want to hang out with this girl & eat pizza… or tacos – the point is she’s incredibly relatable) and at other times, it felt as though she was reading an excerpt from the pages of my journal - her insights and love for Jesus totally blessed my heart! This book isn’t a fairy tale, its far from it – its gritty, eye-brow raising, heart breaking and soul renewing. It’s better than a fairy tale, because its real and the Hero of this story is the God that is privy to all the yuck we have thrust upon us and steaming piles of yuck we dive headlong into — He sees it all and He uses such tremendous piles of ashes and creates beauty in it’s place! If you’re looking for encouragement, reminders of God’s character and the purpose He has for your life (mess & all) this book is a powerful must-read, just don’t forget the Kleenex!
#NothingWastedBook has found a place of honor on my coffee table as I continue to await the outcome of my immunotherapy. It’s serving as a reminder that whether my test results are happy or crappy, its part of my story and Christ is able to use it for my good and his glory! And that, is a story with a happy ending!
#NothingWastedBook
#NothingWasted
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