As part of recent my work-up to qualify for transplantation I had to have a stress test (also known as a treadmill test). The test began innocuously enough. Nursing staff, IV start, blood pressure cuff… but that’s where routine left the building.
I should interject here that I’m a firm believer in being well-studied for tests, so I prepared for this one the best I could… Weeks before the test I quizzed every person I knew who’d had the test – the list of people was a sum total of….zero. Apparently, I have very healthy friends. J But then my queries yielded a co-worker whose mother had completed a treadmill test. The experience that had been told to her was dramatically re-told to me. This woman, in her mid to late 70’s was a rock-star. She just kept killin’ each intensity increase. I had this image, of a calm, cool, collected – Super elderly woman, just passing the test like it was a walk in the park. Well, I may not be the most athletic, but surely I had youth on my side! If Super-Grams could do it, I could do it better – bring it on!
Once I was harnassed to the heart leads and BP cuff, I mounted the treadmill with confidence. Each increment was 3 minutes in length and at the end of each, upon my approval, the machine would increase in speed and elevation. As I voiced my understanding, the test began. *Yawn* With the first increment underway, my enthusiasm and confidence mounted. I congratulated myself, “Huh, I thought I was out of shape, but this is a breeze.” At the end of 3 minutes the tech asked me if I was ready for increased intensity. I perkily agreed. With that the elevation and speed increased. Again, I thought, “Man, what is all the fuss about? I can go like this for hours, but its SOOO boring, hmmm I wonder what’s for supper.” As the 2nd 3-min. phase neared completion – the question was put to me – was I ready for greater intensity? “Oh, Yeah” With that, my tread surface elevated to near 45 degrees and I began a spritely skip-walk. “Okay, so this isn’t so fun, but, if Super-Gram could do it – I most definitely can!” I played it cool, as I gripped the hand-hold white-knuckled. Again, 3 minutes ended, but not nearly as fast this time. Giving the go-ahead this time was a little more difficult as I bear-hugged the hand-hold to keep from sliding down the speeding conveyor. I did my best to play it cool, I think I even smiled (you know that look dogs give you when their lips are stuck to their teeth?). I was no longer bored, in fact, when I wasn’t imagining doing a face plant on the conveyor of death, I thought of air – and how nice it would be to have some….. As I tried to maintain my composure, I *gasp* let them *gasp* know that *gasp* needed OFF!! I was then given the news that I had to go one more minute…. I believe this is how the test became known as a ‘stress’ test. In that minute the tech cheered me on, all the while I imagine he was praying I wouldn’t let go and land in a sweaty heap atop him. The test did finally come to an end and I tried to catch my breath and maintain a shred of my dignity. The question was put to me “Did you stop because you were short of breath?” “No *gulp, gasp*”, I replied, “My *huff* legs hurt *sigh*”.
Okay, so what’s the point to my story? Well, apart from revealing my less-than-stellar running ability… While I was regaling an “audience” with my dramatized version of my experience, I was searching for a lesson in it all. And there it was, staring me in the face – Pride. It’s a short little word, but so very tricky. There’s a verse in the Bible that says ‘pride goes before the fall’. In this instance, when I tried to one-up and saw my abilities as being superior to Super-Gram’s I was prideful and I most literally, nearly fell.
My experience led me to look for Biblical examples of pride. Two characters named Annanias & Sapphira, fit the bill. In Acts 4 & 5 it talks about the new church coming together to help the less fortunate among them. Upon selling their land or homes, generous members of the church body would donate the whole of their earnings to the church. Though they gave without desiring recognition, I’m sure there was talk and whispers, “did you hear what a wonderful thing…”. Annanias and Sapphira were a married couple that wanted their 15 minutes of fame too. But they had a dilemma … If they gave all the money to the church, they wouldn’t have the money. So they devised a plan to give some of the money (okay, here’s the clincher…) and tell the church it was the total profit.
Here’s where pride entered the equation. A & S wanted the glory, but were unwilling to part with all the riches. There was no rule that they had to give all or any of the profits to the church – but they wanted to save face and be exalted by their peers. Okay, so, pride not only ‘goes before the fall’, but in A&S’s case, it actually led to their final fall – death.
Though my pride didn’t lead to my death – it can lead to spiritual death. When I begin to trust my own abilities and ‘run’ without God’s guidance – I wind up in one clumsy, sweaty heap.
* Please Note: No treadmill techs were injured during this test or upon its completion.
That...is hilarious. You are a very funny story teller!
ReplyDeleteBut I'm not saying that to give you a big head... ;)