Wet Cat Way of Thinking

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

                                                         Blessings -- Laura Story

 I love the lyrics of the above song, 'Blessings' by Laura Story.  She talks about the beauty of God's blessings through experiences that feel less than blessed.  A phrase of the song mentions blessings through rain drops.  I've appreciated this song for some weeks, in fact, I've begun to feel like it's the lead song in my life's musical :)  I felt I could appreciate nearly all the song's lyrics with my own life experiences.  But I felt a small sense of dis-loyalty in the phrases dealing with 'doubting' God's goodness.  During the song I would silently denounce that phrase of "faithlessness".  I would never doubt God's goodness.....  Well lately those 'rain drop blessings' have been drowning me.  Instead of feeling grateful for the lessons God must be allowing me to learn, I've felt doubt  -- in the purpose in such disapointment, in God's timing, and in my ability to come through this situation in a manner pleasing to my Jesus.  But most of all I felt like a wet cat -- bewildered, dishevled, offended & cranky!

I've been pretty hesitant to blog since surgery was cancelled, because I have been struggling.  I've joked lately that I've decided I have all the patience I need -- I won't be praying for more, cause I'm not so crazy about the opportunities God is supplying me with to use it.... In all honesty there has been some truth to that -- My fervent prayer throughout this journey has been for God's will, my patience & my life to be a testimony (good one mind you) of Christ & His goodness!  With some of the news I've received in the last month, I began doubting if I would have asked for those things knowing how they would come about.  Fortunately for me, it doesn't stop there -- God is faithful and Praise Him -- He didn't let me sulk too long.  If "blessings" if my life's theme song (you mean not everyone has a theme song? *gasp)  then I am striving to make 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 my mantra -- ⁸ Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

When I stopped throwing my tantrum, stopped licking my wounds and became totally honest with myself and God I found that my 'wet cat' way of thinking came down to two things. I want to have control and I want to be in control.  Pretty lame, huh?  Yeah, the post-ponement of surgery was a bummer -- It took a lot of planning and physical, emotional & mental  preparedness, but when it all comes down to the nitty-gritty -- I really struggle to hand the reins over to the Father.  Today, I'm at a better peace than I was a week ago, and next week I pray I will be even more at peace with God's timing. Because I know, His timing is perfect and He is faithful to continue the good work He has started within me.  Praise God for the prayers of dear saints on my behalf and encouragement of my dearest friends.  Once again, I am humbled by God's blessings in my life and the faithfulness He shows to me, even when I'm so weak!  May God be praised for the person He is molding me into (only by His grace & mercy)!

--V