I may have 4-eyes on most occasions, but today I needed 6 -- hrmph!
Since I've started peritoneal dialysis, I've begun to notice small changes in my person. Most noticeably and most recent I've begun to notice an increase in my energy (PRAISE GOD)!
I'm not taking breaks out of my day to nap or coming home and going straight to bed. Rather, fortunately (or unfortunately) I've begun to resume owlish habits -- that is, I love to stay up late!!! The trade off, however, is that I need a few false starrts before I finally lumber out of bed :)
This past week I have found dialysis to be a real hindrance to my 'system'. After enjoying a productive envening spent cooking, washing clothes, and writing I lost all track of time and connected before midnight. Now, while I make no claims to be Cinderella (my talking mice NEVER help me accessorize), and midnight is not my bewitching hour, 7:40 is. For at 7:40 I either catch miy ride to work OR WALK!
Did you know that I can get ready in 10 minutes?
FYI: Pretty is overrated :)
LESSON LEARNED!
Life in this gal's house has changed significantly with the addition of home dialysis. Boxes, bags, gauze & tape. With all the supplies, other less life-dependant items have been tucked here, shoved there, thus explains the challenges I faced this morning. For those of you who know me personally, you can attest to my giftedness at hiding things. Its a rare and special talent. What you say is the benefit of such an unique 'specialness'? Well..... How many of you can hide...your..own...Easter eggs? You can, well sure, but can you find them with equal enthusiasm? Nope, I didn't think so... I my friend.... am special. Yep, I hate to brag, but everyone says so, in fact, I hear my co-workers say it often :)
It just so happened that this morning in an effort to break my own personal best time getting ready, that I happened upon an absolutely stunning spray bottle. It fit my hand in the most fantastic of ways, it squirted with ease and the spray velocity was generous. Its too bad, it was bleach. Yep, in my haste to liven my curl I grabbed my catheter cleanser -- B-L-E-A-C-H. While my eyes failed me, my nose quickly told me my hair product was oh-so-not!
Note to self-- pick up a counter-top organizer this weekend....
Another lesson learned -- but hey I just found my new favorite spray bottle ;D
--V
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Me, a child? Yes, please!
I read a post on FaceBook today -- reminicing about how as a child it felt like adulthood would never come, and now that it's here, childhood ever looked so good.
Boy, howdy! I agree! There are some fantastic things about adulthood -- like making grown-up decisions. There's a down side too, like making grown-up decisions.
Yeah, I said it. Somedays my innerchild wants to throw a royal tantrum -- fists flying, legs, kicking, a R-O-Y-A-L pain tantrum. Pretty picture, right? Yeah, well, no one ever said maturity was directly proportional to age.
So why all the dramatics? Brace yourselves....
Life is tough...
To those of you shocked by this revelation, go stick your head back in the sand, because if you don't know this yet -- I have no intrest in bursting your bubble.
However for the rest of you who haven't subscribed to the fraternal order of ignorant bliss, then you, too know life can pack a punch.
Until recently I held the romantic notion that I was adultly responsible for myself during the four years of PD prior to my first transplant. Whenever the topic arose I would take the opportunity to proclaim what a wonderful experience peritoneal dialysis was for me. I got along just famously, with nary a care, frustration or interruption to any social life I may have had. . My parents would politely smile and nod and I would self-congratulate myself for having such superior adult skills. uh huh... Do you believe that? Yeah, well neither do I....Now.
Pride has a way of coming back 'round and biting you (or rather me) in the hind cheeks. The first few weeks of peritoneal dialysis I felt so discouraged at my lacking tenacity. I mean, with a 4 year warm up, this should be like the 4th quarter -- no sweat. [You may want to note this sports referencce, pardon any inaccuracies, b/c analogies are the closest I'll ever come to the real thing].
No sweat... my big toe! This week marks a month since starting home dialysis. I'm finally sleeping without fearing I'll hang myself (don't laugh, those lines get an anaconda grip when they're wrapped around ya 3 times). I haven't had anymore drainage floods and I'm sleeping like a baby -- up every few hours crying... (no, not really).
Things are getting better, but as long as I'm on dialysis, I'm sure I'll wish I wasn't. I'm not saying, life is miserable, or even that I've lost my joy. That's what I think is so amazing about all of this. Even in spite of life having this very unwanted pothole -- its my life -- No matter whether its good, bad or rocky, how I decide to live it is completely up to me.
Circa pre-transplant P.T.) I had the expectation that life would be better after the transplant. So when everything wasn't all snorts and giggles I fought a profound disapointment. I don't know though, this most recent epiphany has me a little giddy about this prospect....
Life is rough (nope this isn't the giddy part -- keep reading). But how can I expect my life to be easy when we live in an unperfect, decaying sinful world (nope, definitely not the giddy part, almost there). What just gives me the shivers and feels me with joy is this: I don't have to go through the bad days alone. They come, and they suck (excuse the language), but with God's gift of strength, endurance, mercy and peace I am able to bear the bad, the ugly and the unexpected. What is even more astounding to me is how God can use intense experiences to mold me into the woman I want to be and can only successfully become with His guidance. Pretty cool, huh? So get giddy :)
Oh, and by no means does this further exclude me from having bad days, but on those days I will trust that God will use my friends, prayer warriors and precious family to remind me of the most gracious love my Lord has for me. I think these verses say it so much better than I ever could.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18 (the whole chapter is great, but these are my faves)
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Boy, howdy! I agree! There are some fantastic things about adulthood -- like making grown-up decisions. There's a down side too, like making grown-up decisions.
Yeah, I said it. Somedays my innerchild wants to throw a royal tantrum -- fists flying, legs, kicking, a R-O-Y-A-L pain tantrum. Pretty picture, right? Yeah, well, no one ever said maturity was directly proportional to age.
So why all the dramatics? Brace yourselves....
Life is tough...
To those of you shocked by this revelation, go stick your head back in the sand, because if you don't know this yet -- I have no intrest in bursting your bubble.
However for the rest of you who haven't subscribed to the fraternal order of ignorant bliss, then you, too know life can pack a punch.
Until recently I held the romantic notion that I was adultly responsible for myself during the four years of PD prior to my first transplant. Whenever the topic arose I would take the opportunity to proclaim what a wonderful experience peritoneal dialysis was for me. I got along just famously, with nary a care, frustration or interruption to any social life I may have had. . My parents would politely smile and nod and I would self-congratulate myself for having such superior adult skills. uh huh... Do you believe that? Yeah, well neither do I....Now.
Pride has a way of coming back 'round and biting you (or rather me) in the hind cheeks. The first few weeks of peritoneal dialysis I felt so discouraged at my lacking tenacity. I mean, with a 4 year warm up, this should be like the 4th quarter -- no sweat. [You may want to note this sports referencce, pardon any inaccuracies, b/c analogies are the closest I'll ever come to the real thing].
No sweat... my big toe! This week marks a month since starting home dialysis. I'm finally sleeping without fearing I'll hang myself (don't laugh, those lines get an anaconda grip when they're wrapped around ya 3 times). I haven't had anymore drainage floods and I'm sleeping like a baby -- up every few hours crying... (no, not really).
Things are getting better, but as long as I'm on dialysis, I'm sure I'll wish I wasn't. I'm not saying, life is miserable, or even that I've lost my joy. That's what I think is so amazing about all of this. Even in spite of life having this very unwanted pothole -- its my life -- No matter whether its good, bad or rocky, how I decide to live it is completely up to me.
Circa pre-transplant P.T.) I had the expectation that life would be better after the transplant. So when everything wasn't all snorts and giggles I fought a profound disapointment. I don't know though, this most recent epiphany has me a little giddy about this prospect....
Life is rough (nope this isn't the giddy part -- keep reading). But how can I expect my life to be easy when we live in an unperfect, decaying sinful world (nope, definitely not the giddy part, almost there). What just gives me the shivers and feels me with joy is this: I don't have to go through the bad days alone. They come, and they suck (excuse the language), but with God's gift of strength, endurance, mercy and peace I am able to bear the bad, the ugly and the unexpected. What is even more astounding to me is how God can use intense experiences to mold me into the woman I want to be and can only successfully become with His guidance. Pretty cool, huh? So get giddy :)
Oh, and by no means does this further exclude me from having bad days, but on those days I will trust that God will use my friends, prayer warriors and precious family to remind me of the most gracious love my Lord has for me. I think these verses say it so much better than I ever could.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18 (the whole chapter is great, but these are my faves)
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
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