High Maintenance.
For the life of me I can’t think of a time when the term ‘high
maintenance’ was used as a glowing recommendation. I’d never leap at a chance to buy a house
with that moniker (ranch-style money pit, high maintenance time-sucker with 2
br and 1 bath hardly screams –‘buy me’); Nor would I be overly eager to answer
an e-harmony post that read ‘ tall, dark and high maintenance’. Perhaps I’ve an unfair bias to the term, but
I tend to distance myself from all things hinting of high maintenance.
So you can imagine my horror, when today while visiting the
transplant center I found out that I am viewed by others as *GASP**** H-i-g-h maintenance – well scratch my
ears and call me Sparky! I can’t even
begin to tell you what a shock this was….. okay, so, not so shocking. I mean, I
do live with myself. No news flash, but
today I saw myself through others’ eyes – highlighting the high maitenancity of
Me.
Its concerning to me to think that others, like myself,
might be walking around, unaware that they too are high maintenance. I’ve put together a list of signs and
symptoms to look for – they say admittance is the first step……
·
When traveling, a U-Haul trailer is necessary to
carry your ‘over-night’ case
·
To avoid such overnight ventures, you rise at 3
AM to arrive on time to an 8 AM appointment.
·
Health questionnaires and doctor interviews
resemble open-book tests because you have to refer to your ‘notes’.
·
Finding an unscarred space on your abdomen (to
place a new incision) is termed by the doctors ‘lucky’.
·
Being termed ‘complicated’ multiple times in
doctor’s dictation.
·
And finally, and perhaps my favorite way to tell
if you’re high maintenance …. When another physician remarks that if they were
a primary care doc and saw me come in the front door, they’d walk out the back.
·
Oh, and I suppose if you wanna split hairs -- needing
a kidney might fall into the high-maintenance category…..
So, yeah, I admit it, I am a high maintenance kinda gal, but
lets keep that between you and me. If
word got out I might have to start meeting my doctors at the emergency exits.
