Wednesday, February 12, 2014


How to tell if a dialysis day is going to be less than less-than- stellar

·        Comments such as ‘Wow, I’ve never seen anyone with that many interventions done at once’.  Sure I like to be at the top of my class, but gold star for best pin-cushion… pass

·        When 4 staff congregate around your arm to discuss which hole is the appropriate one to cannulate.  Button-Button, who’s got the ButtonHOLE?

·        A blood pressure of 70/40 is a marked improvement.

·        Hearing the descriptive ‘hairy mess’ uttered to explain why my chair was delayed.  When I told ‘em it wasn’t nice to call me that, they said they were referring to the day, but I’m pretty sure I saw their pants on fire…

 

Yeah, It was that kind of day.  Here’s the promises God reminded me of when 2 burnt fingers were the furthest thing from my mind and I wanted to cry.  Psalm 103:1-2  Let all that I am praise the Lord; With my whole heart I will praise His holy name.  Let all that I am praise the Lord – May I never forget the good things He does for me.

The last few weeks as I’ve been trying to come to terms with disappointment and change of plans I’ve been memorizing this verse.  Here’s what is most striking to me about it.  Christ is always worthy of my praises, there’s no situation that changes that.  And secondly, ‘good things He does’ – its not past tense, but past and present & a promise for the future.  I never want to forget either of those things.  Today, when I was counting the minutes until I was done, the Lord gave me strength to tolerate my full treatment time and to not cry like the very big baby I am.  He also reminded me of this promise (another of my memory verses the last few weeks) 1 Peter 4:12-13 Brethren, do not think it is strange, concerning this fiery trial, which is to try you. As though some strange thing happened to you, but rather rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, so that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.

I am very thankful today for Christ’s promises, for the prayers of others – I know Christ honored them today, I am thankful for care providers that are compassionate and skilled (and I’m really thankful that Paige was at work today).  I’m also thankful that treatment is over today and that tomorrow isn’t Friday.  I’m thankful for cinnamon juju bears & perspective. And now, I’m thankful for naps!

Tuesday, February 11, 2014


So it seems that in addition to driving, handling heavy machinery and shopping… stovetops and skillets should also be avoided when under the influence of sedation.

I had a major overhaul to my fistula today – 2 accessory vessels coiled, 4 angioplasties, 3 insertion sites, 2 slipknots and one stitch (all terms I’m sure I heard them use…while I was sedated)….  And know I’m left with two miniature slinkies in my left arm (I wonder if I’ll set off the metal detectors), a newly re-jiggered fistula,  two burnt fingers and a throbbing arm.  ‘Where’ you may ask, did my burns come from?  In a semi-lucid state, while using my fingers as a grilled cheese flipper, I may have inadvertently grasped the side of the skillet.  On the bright side, it took my mind off my throbbing arm for a while & its super handy, when the ice pack on my arm gets to frigid I just slide it down to my fingers – win. winJ

I know I’ve been ‘radio-silent’ for a few weeks & I want to remedy that soon.  I’ll just end tonight by saying I’m okay and I appreciate the outpouring of love and prayers – I treasure the blessings of my family and friends. Thanks for all the support – I’ll have more to write when I can fully account for what I’m saying;) With all my love, Vanessa

Let all that I am praise the Lord, with my whole heart I will praise His holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord. May I never forget the good things he does for me! Psalm 103:1-2