I can only imagine the troubling thoughts my exclamation is
causing for anyone reading this - some of you may even be wondering how low my social
life has sunk to elicit such enthusiasm over garment slits.
I’m getting button holes – any yes I’m excited – but fear
not – my sanity and social life are still intact.
Button holes are a slang term for a fistula site that is
always accessed in the same spot. But I’m getting ahead of myself – so for now,
just know – button holes are good.
Since my last post life has been eventful – Here’s the
condensed version with journaling snippets of most momentous events:
·
March 29th – First day having my
fistula stuck with one 17 gauge needle. My
anxiety over this event was actually pretty anti-climactic – I attribute this
to three things; my overactive imagination, the nurse’s skill; and God’s grace.
It’s a good thing too, because if day one had been anything like day two I may
have never gone back!
·
April 17th – First day with 2 needles
accessing my fistula. Actually
this was the first day successfully
accessing my fistula with the second needle.
·
April 22nd – Diagnosed with Shingles.
Fortunately I caught it early, so it turned
out to be a mild case, but a week later I was back in the doctor’s office with
hives caused by a new fabric softener.
·
April 26th – Fistula Infiltrated.
 |
| Bruising 2 wks after infiltration. |
Words can’t fully express… OUCH comes to
mind– I hope to avoid a repeat performance – Infiltration occurs when the
needle responsible for blood return slips out of the arterial portion of the
fistula and the blood has nowhere else to go but into the surrounding
tissue. It’s extremely painful and
results in a doozy of a bruise.
·
May 6th – Fistulagram with Angioplasty.
My fistula’s infiltration was a red flag
there could be some structural abnormalities with my fistula, so I had a
fistulagram done. They injected my
fistula with dye & discovered 3 - 70% blockages. They ballooned these areas to allow for greater
blood flow.
I got butterflies in my stomach when I saw
the name on my Caller ID. My heart was
in my throat as I answered. But instead
of ‘the call’, it was the financial coordinator calling to tell me that my new
COBRA insurer considered their transplant center out-of-network. As my heart plummeted to my buns he explained
that my current insurance policy would cover little to no part of a transplant. In a nutshell – No coverage, no kidney.
Another barrier in my quest for a kidney,
oh, and did I mention – just a week earlier I and a living donor had been
tested for paired donor exchange?
If you’ve followed my blog, you know this
isn’t the first time things haven’t gone as I thought they should – My initial
go-to reactions have been panic, tantrums and anger (sometimes all three – I’m
a real treat, huh?) – but over the last three years God has used these
experiences to mold me and teach me lessons about patience (careful what you
ask for), purpose & God’s perfect timing. So if anything, the last three years has been
preparing me for this news. Instead of
reaching for my ‘go-to’ hysterics I felt oddly calm – I’m still working on a
solution, but in the meantime I’m choosing to rely on what I believe, or rather
in whom I believe – My God wasn’t surprised by this news or any other news that
I saw as roadblocks. I believe that Christ has a perfect plan for my life and
if a kidney is part of that plan, it will happen at the right time. So in the meantime I am doing my part to iron
out the man-made wrinkles.
·
May 24th – First day using 15 gauge
needles, button holes begin.
Each time I thought of needles this size I
envisioned knitting needles – My imagination was far more disturbing than the
real thing, thank the Lord! I’d like to
tell you I faced those harpoons with bravery… I would also like a pony…. My
help comes from the Lord, but right now my courage is chemically-induced –
Lidocaine cream is this girl’s new best friend!
And that brings me back to the present – BUTTON HOLES! It signifies that my fistula is working well
and when the holes are well-established a tract will form, similar to an ear
piercing. It makes it easier to access and less painful. Having button holes also means I can get my
IJ catheter out soon – no more IJ means less risk for infection and I can take
real showers and go swimming – all the incentives which make a fistula more
appealing.
The last few months I’ve had the opportunity to put some of
the lessons God has been teaching me into practice. I continue to get new
opportunities to trust God & wait for His perfect timing. In grasping opportunities, I’ve also opened
myself up to unimaginable blessings!
