How many times must you hear something before you begin to believe it as truth? Ten times? 8 times? Maybe 5? In my case, most recently this week – two times. Monday I made it a marathon doctor visit day.
- Nephrologist check
- Dialysis Nurse check
- Dietician check
- Unknown titled expert check
- Neurologist check
- Unmentionable-ologist check-check
Yep, as you can see, it was a record breaking day of ‘check’ ups. With the onset of kidney failure and initiation of dialysis my body (mind & spirit) has begun to protest in most unappreciated ways. While I’ll spare you the details, my biggest issue at this point is chronic headache. Notice I said headache as in singular, uno – yep , just one big pain in the, *cough* uh hmm head.
My goal during my medical marathon was to get to the bottom of the pain. As a side note – I can’t express strongly enough how majorly important it is to be your own advocate! The only person seriously vested in you is you. Okay, soapbox aside…. In the first office condolences were expressed when I mentioned my headache. The unknown specialist questioned if I was depressed – ONE. At the neurologist, after expressing my frustration, he mentions I seem more “down” than usual – TWO. Headed home from my doctor visits I mentioned the comments to a friend, laughing off the insinuation that I was depressed, when she says there might be validity to the statements – THREE.
So again I ask – how many times must you hear something before you begin to believe it? Most recently for me – Three…..
Depressed, me? Sure I feel like crying, but only when mere tasks of walking and breathing cause flashes of throbbing pain. And yes, my smile seems to have vanished and my humor has flown the coop. So, yeah, I guess the evidence would point to….
How many times must you hear something to begin to believe it? ONE
ONE phone call broke my reverie tonight. God’s gift of truth to me in the form of ONE dear friend - He will never leave me or forsake me, He won’t give me more than I can handle, purpose can arise from pain & beauty from the ashes…. ONE that’s all it took. Yeah, I hit a funk, yes I hate hate hate this headache, but I am not defeated because I am choosing to trust in the ONE true God!
Have you begun to believe lies of doubt & defeat? May you have a precious person in your life to remind you of God’s promises! I’m not belittling the enormity of depression & the helplessness it can make you feel, but as I was reminded tonight – My God is mightier than the most significant obstacle in my path.
Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
1 Peter 1:7
These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
Psalm 31:7-8
I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul. 8 You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul. 8 You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
Psalm 40:2
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
The truth is a powerful thing. I trust & pray that if you ever find yourself believing the lie that things are hopeless, joyless and useless, that you you will claim these promises of God!
--V
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