Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Seeing Pink: Beauty and Hope on the Heels of Storm Clouds


At present, I’m laying here sucking Jello from its pre-packaged cup. Why, you ask am I still single? Two reasons:

1.    I’m nowhere near a spoon

2.     I’m off solids in preparation for a procedure tomorrow – which ‘obviously’ explains both, my snack choice and my lack of decorum (obviously I’m far too weak to trek down the hall in search of a spoon).

But honestly, I’m hungry, bordering on hangry and just minutes from whine-gry (this may be a Vanessa-original - a word combo based on hunger induced whininess – which in all fairness could also be referred to as Hiney, but really folks – I’m so much more tasteful than that). ;P Is Jello the snack that smiles back? Because I think I saw it chortle when I passed the real food to suck down its slimy contents like a greased pig on a waterslide. Ooh bacon!;)

I’ve been asked by several friends and family how I’m doing lately and I’ve been rather lax about blogging or correspondence. Maybe today’s not the best day to ask me, as the neighbors begin to launch noise complaints due to my stomach rumbling and my cat thinks my stomach’s growling is a personal affront.

But seriously, I’m good,  I’m tired and I’m good and tired. And beyond that I’m incredibly blessed! I’m trying to remind myself to savor each moment, take every opportunity to be purposeful and be a good sport as I fund a handful of specialists’ summer vacations. ;D

This week I’m inundated with doctor visits, tests and procedures every day except Friday, but in the two weeks prior I’ve been overwhelmed (in the best sense of the word) with the blessing of savoring moments and the people that made them memorable. I’m unable to forget my PTLD diagnosis with my perennial visits to medical professionals, but without those perpetual reminders I’d be apt to forget. Not today – but most days. Pardon me if this sounds ridiculous, but I’m glad for the reminder. I’m glad because it keeps me mindful that life is precious –it’s a gift from God and it’s meant to be lived actively – not passively. I want to live in the fullness of the purpose God has for my life – quirks and all.  And, if I’m honest, it’s easy to get lazy and let life pass me by.

God continues to remind me of His faithful character. In fact, today it felt as though He provided extra measures to reinforce the hope I have in Him through my morning devotions and in the song selections coming from the car radio (check out ‘Still’ by Hillary Scott).

‘Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.’ Hebrews 10:23

I love how God paints word pictures – He evokes tangible emotion through our senses and provides ample opportunities for us to be assured of His faithfulness. Just look at His creation – the critters roaming this world, the watercolor daybreaks and the dark velvet expanse of night sky shimmering with stars. As a child I listened to my ‘Creek Bank Kids’ cassette tape (yes I am that old) enough that I still catch myself humming snippets of songs. Today these lyrics came to mind.

This world is like a coloring book His beauty’s everywhere I look                                                                    Every color that I see reminds me of His love for me                                                                                              God paints the world with love, that’s how I know He lives                                                                                  He fills the earth with colors and in that way He gives                                                                                                 Such happiness oh how we’re blessed to have this picture of                                                                                         A wonderful God Who cares so much that He paints the world with love

Tangible reminders make me smile. I was six when my grandpa died, but despite so many years removed from his company, I’m only one banana shake away from the most vibrant memories of him and his homemade ice cream. Maybe that’s why God chose to represent His faithfulness in the form of a rainbow. Genesis 9:13-15 says:

‘I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant between me and you.’

Isn’t it poignant that our Heavenly Father chose to paint with a generous color palette to reflect His promise? Beauty and hope on the heels of storm clouds and despair.

Tomorrow I’ll have more biopsies to determine the effectiveness my medication changes have had. To see if my immune system has found a toe-hold to fight the lymphoma cells. I’m preparing for that in two ways: One - the aforementioned diet (spoons optional, no chewing necessary) and two -  reminding myself of God’s promise of faithfulness.

Aww… that sounds so pious doesn’t it? Serene even. Well, not today.


Forgive the limited view of candy cotton color -
I suffer from selfie-insufficiency
Today I chose to boldly go where I've never gone before and I broadened my hair color horizons; taking my cue from God’s plentiful color palette with a pop of color that even I can see! And I love it (perhaps because I'm hungry, but the shades of purple and magenta make me think of cotton candy)! Two weeks ago I anticipated having no hair. Maybe that’s still in my future, Lord willing, maybe it’s not. But regardless, I’m celebrating God’s faithfulness in a little less orthodox, far more flamboyant fashion.

Now, when storm clouds roll in I need only look in the mirror to remember my God is faithful, my God is good – and that truth doesn’t change - no matter the weather!

‘Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.’ Lamentations 3:21-23

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