I've been asked to give an update... to share what I know.... hmm that's a loaded statement I know :) Alas, regardless of your thoughts on that.....
I'm learning a lot about myself and how I choose to live life. I'm less tolerant of bull - the drama so often employed to skirt around issues and making assumptions about things that have abolutely no foundation. That dance is way too exhasting and I'd rather spend my time and energy on things of substance and purpose. I've also cut through some of my own inhibitions. Naturally shy, there have been numerous occasions when I've missed opportunities to lift someone up b/c I was afraid I'd appear silly. I'm spending more time with family and making efforts to live withot regrets -- telling those dear to me, how precious they are. At the beginning of all this I decided that I would make it an opportunity to give God all the glory and to be purposeful through and in spite of my struggles. I'm sorry to say that in recent weeks I've lost sight of that mission. I've learned that fatigue leads to apathy and apathy leads to vulnerability. I have a real distaste for pity. But I've been doing a swell job feeling sorry for myself. Maybe you noticed, like I did -- it's when I shifted my focus from God, to me that the trouble began. I love a good party, but a pity party for one is a super waste of my time! But, my God is oh, so AWE-Some and my freinds and family are so faithful in praying for me that I can rejoice along with the Psalmist, and say " He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." (Psalm 40:2)
On the kidney front....not too much news... My kidney c ontinues to fail at a rapid rate -- once again proving that I just don't play by the medical communities' rule book. The more my kidney fails, the more I appreciate the healthy time I was blessed with. I have good days and bad days -- today was a good day. (Thank you Jesus). I am blessed to have super supportive family -- they put up with me, even on days I can't stand myself, and love me inspite of me! My friends, church and work family are a rare blessing as they encourage me and help to alleviate some of my stress by shouldering some of my responsibilities. Perhaps, one of the hardest things I've had to take a hiatus from is my Jr./Sr. Sunday School class. But I am so thankful to know they are in good hands -- the Lord's and our Pastors :)
After this week I shold have a better idea of what the future holds for me.... I am hopeful a transplant is in my near future -- I long to be energetic, healthy and cheerful and I've found all these things to be more difficult when I don't feel good. So, I hope I haven't been too much of a downer -- I guess I should put a warning in the title line.... When I strip away all the minor inconviences and health grievances I'm left with amazing insight and blessings! Life is short, live it with purpose, live to love others and let Christ lead!
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