The Pitfalls of PD

they never tell ya how it really is.....

Have you ever noticed that when faced with a life changing/altering endeavor no one ever truly gives you  the whole story?  Or even if they do give you worst case scenario, the delivery is candy-coated or minimized.  What do I mean?  Well, for instance.... In my line of work there's such a thing as informed-connsent, it means each person has the right and responsibility to be told of all the risks and potential complications.  Take for instance -- the procedure of placing a central line.  I've heard a delivery like so... "So we'll numb up the area, and put in the catheter, now there's always the potential for it to collapse your lung, but thats no biggie, cause then we'll just make an incision and put a chest tube in, but its not a big deal."
Do you believe it, its not a big deal? Yeah, neither do I  Its not until the person has the procedure taht he/she truly understands the breadth of what was explained.

Such has been my experience.  This week is my second week of home PD, what? you ask does PD stand for ?  Pretty Darn exhausting..... umm, well no, not really, but it was the nicest name I could think of right now :)  For those of you that knew me prior to my transplant, you'll remember that I did PD for 4 years in my teens.  Going into this for a second time, I felt confident I knew what was in store for me.  Yeah, well, what I learned is that I have selective recollection.  But on the positive side I have had a very real education, which no amount of class hours could teach.


Sleep is precious.  Did you know that if tired enough, a person can sleep in the midst of rowdy, yelling children?  Yeah, sleep is sleep and sleep without my PD machine -- let's just call him Bert -- I know I was calling him Liberty, but the only liberty I have with him is the freedom I am pursuing AWAY from him!  Its becoming far too routine to be up at least 6-8 times per night, addressing the alarms.  Beep, Beep, Beep -- ugh, some nights its easy to discern the trouble, others its a bit trickier -- oh, the alarms aren't any different, its just as the days go by, and I become more sleep deprived, my coordination and brain power are playing hookie.  Last night I spent an hour and 8 alarms looking for a "patient blockage" -- I think the blockage was in my brain.  When I finally found the solution, it was as simple as I've become.  Have you ever apple that when you become mattress you begin to lose your edge?  Sometimes wors ust bermuda me. Occasionally, I even find myself doughnutting about my bed. i'm sooo tired, if only I could gettttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt *snort, grunt*  oh, yeah, sleep -- Yes Please!

So, now that my sleep pattern is grossly affected, it is extremely important that I fuel my mind and body the next best way -- FOOD!  Case in point.. I wish someone would have told me these cords don't stretch.  I've been particularly earnest to get "hooked-up" early to Bert so that if all else fails, I can at least sleep the last 2-3 hours Bert is finished.  I was so proud of myself when last week I set up and hooked up by 5:33 pm.  As I was patting myself on the back, I began to brainstorm my evening meal.  Now with my hook-up out of the way I had boundless time to kick back and eat supper.  MMMM supper, I think I'll make spaghetti and have some tarts for dessert, ohh and later if I get hungry I'll make some popcorn, but first I'll put the nooooooooooooooooo.  Have you ever see a dog try to catch their tail?  or a hefty individual in a thong?  Both are examples poor miscalculations -- and now I had joined the crowd.  Apparently my line only reaches so far, and the kitchen was -- soooooooooo far away.  :(   Long story short, I ate the pear I found at the bottom of my work bag....Lesson learned!

All joking aside, I have to say how very good God has been and continues to be.  First of all, the fact that I can even laugh at these things, when at the time all I wanted to do was cry, is a miracle of God's grace.  Then on top of that He allows me to look on these situations and He uses the experience to teach me lessons -- sometimes about myself and other times about the many blessings He places in my life.  Take for instance my incidence of reaching the end of my rope -- quite literally :)  God placed it within my heart to evaluate what my hunger is for Him.  Do I make the same attempts to read His word and talk with Him?  It's making me evaluate my priority set and making certain to make Him the central focus.  Its too important to make second best. 
And one of the things I am most excited about is the way God is using this time to bring blessings in my life in the form of people.  God is awesome and even though I'd rather get rid of Bert (I haven't found any takers yet).  I am blessed that this form of dialysis is possible and that it is working.  God is Good! 
Now, if you'll excuse me, my pillow is calling me :)
--V